Sunday, August 24, 2008
Hey. Well I think I can definately say now that I'm over Emma. I guess we were just not meant to be. & I'm okay with that. I'm coping. But just so you know In broke my vow to myself, not to text Emma ever again. I couldn't help it. I thought if I couldn't have him, atleast I can text him. You can't really blame me, its not my fault. But like I said, I'm over him. After that, I met this amazing guy, Nathan. Yeah, i fell for him. & I fell for him hard. We talked occasionally at school. The formal hey's and hi-5s. But I think i got the wrong signals. & I guess its fair to say he gave the wrong signals. When I found out he was going camp with me, I thought it was a sign or something. So i was soo happy going into camp thinking I'm finally gonna have a man who won't break my heart. Or so I thought. I also found out he was going with his former girlfriend, and was gonna try get back with her. There I was acting all goo-goo-ga-ga around him, when there was BIG forehead, all touchy-touchy. It hurt me so bad. I thought they were just friends, but it was more than that. It became official and really true to me when I saw them holding hands in front of me. My heart was crushed immediately. It felt like he yanked it out of my body and stepped all over it. I felt stupid. & DUMB. I came home heart broken with everyone saying, ''Don't worry you'll find someone else better.'' or ''He doesn't deserve you.'' But to be honest I felt like there was no one else better, and he did deserve me. Now as I look back, I think that I was really immature, and thought he really liked me. He put me off boys once more. I didn't date anyone until now. I found Vincent, and know that his love is genuine. He isn't like Nathan who led me on. I still talk to Nathan, but its back to formal heys and hi-5s. But this time, whenever I see him, i see him as a person who wasn't the one for me, and now I also know that he didn't deserve me. He hurt me deep, and I will never forget what he did. But just like people say, we all have to learn to move on.