"How could you fall in love alone?"

But I didn’t just type that; I had my chin touching my chest, and my tears were flowing to my forehead while screaming that question to myself.

i like watching 'the notebook'..

cause even though i don't believe in love myself, it's nice knowing that there are people out there who love each other that much.

Day 09 — A photo you took;

Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad.

Only because sometimes I wish I had what they had.

Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy;

It's my nephew :)

i played squash today. was freaking nervous the whole day cause i was just so scared of failing so badly in front of my amigos. but i was alright in the end, didn't do too bad.. i just really hate serving. just wish didn't have to serve lol. ehh, twas awesome, can't wait for friday's squash game with the boyyyssss ;) booyahhr.

Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy;

I love hanging out with the 'crew' at lunch and morning tea. And how every word I say, the boys can twist into some disturbing thing. You guys just amaze me. Haha, love you guys heaps. You make school bearable.

Day 05 — Your favorite quote;

Everyone's got a backpack full of problems, but everyone's also got a pocket full of change.

Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful Mami :) I love you.

Day 04 — Your favorite book;

"How I Love Thee" by Lurlene McDaniel. Because it's not like any typical teenage love story. This book has meaning.

i cannot wait for december!

school for this year will be over, vacation to the philippines, my hair will surely, hopefully be longer, jolibee, get to see my favourite cousins! ahh! super excited!! :) oh btw, aren't they just the cutest things..

this place reminds me of 'Nagrand' in Outlands. I miss my World of Warcraft days..

yuss no school tomorrow, gots me a doctors appointment. needles, joy!

Day 03 — Your favorite television program;

Teen Mom and Taking the Stage, all the way.

Day 02 — Your favorite movie;

Mmm. This is a tough one.

Can't decide between Toy Story 1&2, UP or The Notebook.

Finally getting around to doing these! Yuss.

Day 01 — Your favorite song;

It's hard to choose... So I'm gonna say anything Paramore related :)

oh dear. i don't think i was supposed to fall for you.

you came into my life, just like that. without any warning bells, no nothing. i missed you when we didn't talk, i looked forward to bedtimes as it meant talking to you until 2 in the morning. every time you hugged me, it felt as if we were the only ones in this planet. like nothing else mattered. you were mine, and i was yours. but then everything fell apart. it was all over. my fairytale was over. but i wasn't over you. no i wasn't. i didn't want to give up, even though it felt like you did. i held on for so long, so long. too long. when you were ready again, i wasn't. i didn't want to be with you anymore. you made me angry, you annoyed me. i hated talking to you. i hated how every time i talked to you, everything, every feeling, everything swept under the rug, resurfaced.

it's over. it's completely over.

before i couldn't go by a minute without thinking of you. now i can go for days. for weeks. you were a special part of my life, i didn't know how i could live without you. but that part of my life, it's all in the past now.

i've moved on. i used to believe that love could fix anything, but i don't anymore. i don't need you anymore. who has love these days anyway?

i wonder how it feels like to walk in a room, and have everyone say,

"i wish i had what they have."

guess it's never gonna happen, ha. awesome.

you ask what the best relationship is?

it's when you're both in love with each other, yet you stay only as friends.

incomparable , unchangeable

you see the depths of my heart ,

and you love me the same .

supposed to be doing catch up on all my homework, but quite frankly i just don't want to yeah. omg school this year just hard out sucks, everything is that much harder. but so far so good, been getting really good grades, so i'm happy. just as long as i stay on top of things (and ash, if you ever come across this, grow up :D ) haha, so thought i'd vent that out. ttyl.

honey , it's love not santa claus .

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

i could really use a wish right now, a wish right now.

man. last week sucked balls. had homework for all of my classes literally every night. fingers crossed this week won't be so bad.

Yesterday, I spent the last day of my holidays at school. Why might you ask? Well. Because my art teacher loves us so much and she wants us to spend more time on our old paintings. Because they're not good enough. Yay. But whatever. I've got this little thing that's booosting my mood about art at the moment. Whilst I am stalling finishing my current paintings, I've joined this little art exchange project, where you send somene a piece of your artwork e.g- a little drawing, a photo, a felted creation, a beaded thing; anything artistic that you make, and you should receive 36 pieces of art in return. Epic right? Anywaay, if you're keen leave me a comment with your email, or hit mee up on gorgeous_girl_179@hotmail.com and I shall be sending you a wee email with all the details :) x

Remember when you were my boat, and I was your sea;

Together we'd float, so delicately.

But that was back when we could talk about anything..

you me at six.

being a girl has its ups and downs.

and there is one particular down that i detest. when our 'mate' visits us every month.

i want a british fellar ;) those sexy mofos have accents that make me melt

know that you're not alone, no matter what your stupid self says. there's always going to be a person who loves you out there, waiting, ready to catch you when you fall at your lowest. you'll learn to let them in; but first, you gotta learn to love yourself.

dana bub, its going to be okay

people comment on how maybe i've taken this quote a little too far; they can comment as much as they want, won't change my mind

a train ride to eternity would be nice

it's getting cold, so let's snuggle up and forget the rest of the world.

its autumn, the leaves are falling and as i would say 'the trees are losing their hair'. autumn is such a beautiful season, the sun rising and setting at the most perfect times. the air is not too hot, not too cold. perfect weather for staying in bed and watching love-sick movies. ahhhh. lifeisfantastico. of course, i must forget the fact that school, yet again, starts in a week's time. sigh. back to reality. hope you're all doing well (:

"In 7th grade I was anorexic.

When I was hungry, I would snap hair-ties on my wrist, as punishment for even thinking about food. My then boyfriend found out about it and took one of my hair-ties, saying, For every one snap you do, I do ten."

-LoveGivesMeHope.com

i think i need a sunrise,

i'm tired of sunset.

That night I sat alone in my bed and cried. Cried because I realized that I had the perfect guy in my life. The perfect guy who I not only didn't have feelings for, but had fooled to believe that I had. And so I realized that breaking up with you was the right thing to do. Not because I deserve better. But because you do.

i hate the feeling when you know you'll never see that person again.

If you woke up breathing,

congratulations - you have another chance.

my sincere apologies. i haven't blogged for a while eh. well, just came back from the most awesomest weekend of my life. so far. easter camp 2010, you shall be missed. memories much! anywho, i shall be back to blogging again, yay. later boo.

Day 01 — Your favorite song

Day 02 — Your favorite movie

Day 03 — Your favorite television program

Day 04 — Your favorite book

Day 05 — Your favorite quote

Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy

Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad

Day 09 — A photo you took

Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago

Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently

Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 13 — A fictional book

Day 14 — A non-fictional book

Day 15 — A fanfic

Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)

Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 19 — A talent of yours

Day 20 — A hobby of yours

Day 21 — A recipe

Day 22 — A website

Day 23 — A YouTube video

Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 25 — Your day, in great detail

Day 26 — Your week, in great detail

Day 27 — This month, in great detail

Day 28 — This year, in great detail

Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days

Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy.

I shall do this instead because I've been so slack with my Project 365 D:

It's sweet when someone knows every single detail about you; Not because you constantly remind them, but because they pay attention.

''I'll always miss her. But her love. It's like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it."

- Landon Carter; A Walk To Remember.

Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that people are just made up of ideas. And some ideas can turn into statues. But we aren't statues. We change and we disappoint and we feel things and sometimes, if we're lucky, other people make us feel things. and even when it's hard to be who you are, you have to remember it's worth it.

Goodbyes hurt more than anything.

Especially when deep down, you know you will never say hello again.

you make me feel alone

oh dear, i want to live in this house

Because nothing could be better than celebrating yet another day of life with a cupcake and a candle waiting to be blown out.

today was my sixteenth birthday. i got to carry balloons around with secret messages from the bench buddies, and everyone wished me a happy birthday. my english class even sang for me. i went to school all bummed because my birthday was on a school day and i thought yuck. but my beautiful friends had a surprise waiting for me. liz baked me a lovely cake, and everyone gathered around to sing happy birthday to me and it was the best feeling ever. i couldn't have been any happier. i have to say, i had an awesome birthday, and that my friends are the best in the whole world, no joke.

books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials, no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent. What I wonder is why everybody doesn’t carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life.

After a while you learn the difference between holding hands

and falling in love. You begin to learn that kisses don’t always

mean something and that promises are broken just as easily

as they are made and sometimes goodbyes really are forever.

Drive out all your fear and bitterness- they will only make you hurt more.

oh i miss the feeling of being in love/infatuated. the feeling you get when someone says their name and the butterflies you get in your stomach when they smile at you. i feel like such a heartless cow because i feel nothing. i'm pretty sure everyone's supposed to feel something for a special someone, but with me nothing. i am a rock when it comes to relationships/having crushes/loving, liking someone.

but it's ok. i can handle being alone.

happy valentines day to all of you anyway :).

oh good old paramore. i am really really really, majorly, epically BUMMED that i do not get to see you guys live. i'm going to cry myself to sleep. i mean, you're coming in a month's time, for the first time, and i'm not even going to see you D: now that's worth crying yourself to sleep every night, for a week.

wooo first week of term done! only eight more weeks to go. waaah, it sucked balls. don't you just hate the first classes of the year. OH and tell me, is my name THAT hard to read that you can't pronounce it properly. it's not rocket science brooo. it's jairrah. jai-ra. let me spell it out for you j-a-i-r, oh forget it. there's always going to be that one teacher who kills it. it's been pretty hot lately, and i've been pretty down. my posts have been slack lately, apologies for that. we were finally given our first art assessment of the year. finally! looking forward to art this year. hope you all have a lovely weekend, :).

The reason why a see-saw was made for two people is so that when you go down, there would be someone there to lift you up.

love is the person you think about during sad songs.

you only change when you get hurt enough that you have to.

alas! i am able to blog. it's been a while.

i have missed you guys,

i like (500) days of summer.

it's not a typical love story and it shows me that sometimes, when we want something so bad we just don't realise that maybe it was never meant to be.

wonder what it feels like to be on the edge of the world?

maybe it's the same feeling you get when your whole world is tipped upside down and your stomach feels likes it's in knots and you're hurting. or maybe it's the feeling you get at your happiest and it's like nothing matters anymore because it feels like you've accomplished all that you've wanted to now that you're right there.

where you've always wanted to be.

formspring.me

GOT SOMETHING TO SAY? ;). http://formspring.me/jaibear

what is it about the sound of someone you love crying; is it set to a frequency that instantly breaks your heart?

Everybody makes mistakes.

Valentine's Day is an evil holiday.

go on a journey.

enjoy it.

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”

i really want the two bird tattoo's lauren and i have planned for our left wrists. narg, i cannt wait!

just finished watching glee.

love it, love it ;).

everybody has secrets.

i secretly envy people that have a special someone. i miss knowing there is someone that will always be there at the end of a bad day and say, everything is going to be alright. right now, im scared. scared that i'm going to end up alone, someone that is afraid to love.

i'm sitting in my stuffy as bedroom, over-heated laptop on my lap, im wearing a super extremely hot tshirt, and it's like 100degrees outside. whatiswrongwithme?

i'm so bored. i wanna write a letter ;).

but i kinda don't at the same time. cause i know i won't get a reply and that saddens me. you know what else saddens me? how people don't have time to write letters anymore. or even use the telephone to say a simple 'hello, just wanted to know how you were.' you know what i mean? everyone's all so busy with planning the future, we never have the time to indulge the present. that's why we all have regretful pasts. i want somebody to write me a letter. i want somebody to show up on my front door, unexpectedly and give me a hug.

i want my yearly journal D:

i miss writing about everything.

sucks im stuck at home all week

and can't go stationary shopping until the weekend.

i like it when it rains at night i can,

when hear it patter on my window.

i'd like a polaroid camera, and take lots of pictures of flocks of birds,

so i hate this.

i have to use my on screen keyboard because my keyboard is major failing.

this whole laptop is failing.

i hate this.

hmm, so my laptop is under repair and all my saved photos, quotes and the whole shibang is under repair with it,

i don't know when i'll get 'em back,

so i'm sorry for the fail posts D:

hopefully i'll get my laptop back up this week

lots of love, jai x

you appear just like a dream to me

just like kaleidoscope

colours that cover me

all i need, every breath that i need,

don't you know you're beautiful

i want to go on a road trip,

with you.

i want to find this house, and transform it to something that is too amazing for words. i want to renovate it, fill it with beautiful pictures, and words of God. i want to be able to sit on the front porch, drinking hot coffee and look at what i've accomplished.

yeah. i'm def going to do this now.

letting go is hard, but it's better to let go than to hold on to something that was never meant to be.

i wish i could stand at the edge of the world and watch the dark sky burst into a beautiful cascade of colours

the fact that you are someone completely different today does not stop me from cherishing the memories we had together. i might have lost most of the respect i held for you, but i will respect our memories. because in it, exists

the man that i once

loved.

They say that good things take time,

But really great things happen

In the blink of an eye.

Thought the chances to meet somebody

Like you were a million to one,

I cannot believe it;

You're one in a million.

hmm, sorry for the lack of posts lately

quite frankly, i just want a break from blogging

miss you all, post soon x

No one ever gets tired of loving..

But everyone eventually gets tired of waiting and hurting.

The Notebook; 2004.

Best movie. Ever.

''If you're a bird, I'm a bird."

I love love love love love love this movie.

I cried and it was beautiful.

If only every love could be this wonderful.

We lose people we love because they are meant to love someone else. We lose them because we are destined to find somebody else. It is a simple fact that is sometimes hard to accept because we are too stubborn to let go of something that doesn't belong to us anymore.

You're never going to learn from your mistakes if you don't let yourself.

And there is nothing more that I would love than to watch me fall apart, cause every ending begins with a brand new heart.

I wish you all the best and prosperous coming year! :D

it's 2010, time for a fresh start. time to pick yourself up and move. go out and shine that killer smile of yours. do something radical this year - something that in a million years you would never have done. surprise yourself and everyone else. embrace now. forget about the bad things - focus on the good. 2010. new year, new chapter. make it worth reading.

i want someone to call me and say, 'i miss you, how are you?'

is it too hard to pick up your phone and say, 'i'm sorry.' ?

you don't even bother anymore.

so why should i?

I've seen love die, way too many times when it deserved to be alive. And I've seen you cry, way too many times when you deserved to be alive.

Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, your my wonderwall. ♥

don't waste your time on me.

i'm not worth it.

my heart is so full of love,

i just wish i could give it to you.

Merry, merry Christmas everyone! (:

God bless you all.

the worst part about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth.

I heard that the reason people appear in your dreams, is because they want to see you.

Brick By Boring Brick

-Paramore.

every

scar

is a

bridge

to someone's

broken heart.

till now, i always got by on my own.

i never really cared until i met you.

and now it chills me to the bones,

how do i get you alone?

In 2009 I…

(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
(x) went behind your parents back
(x) cried over a broken heart
(x) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
( ) slept under the stars (not all night though it got too cold)
( ) kept your new years resolution
(x) forgot your new years resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
( ) sat home all day doing nothing
(x) pretended to be sick
( ) left the country
(x) almost died
(x) given up something important to you
(x) lost something expensive
(x) learned something new about yourself
( ) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(xx) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
(x) stayed up until sunrise
(x) Cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
(x) had someone close to you die
( ) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
(x) went to the beach with your best friend
(x) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(x) became closer with a lot of people

( ) stayed single for the whole year

(x) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else’s heart
(x) had a stalker
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget - had.
(x) done something you’ve regretted
(x) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe

OTHER
(x) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(x) posted a blog
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
(x) went camping
(x) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you

My Tumblr is looking a little lonely guys. She needs a visit.

i was a kaleidoscope :)

Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.

I don't need to see it to believe it,

Cause I can't shake this fire burning deep inside my heart.

This life is yours, and hope is rising

As your glory floods our heart,

Let love tear down these walls.

however on some occasions, a chai latte or a cup of boiling green tea would do :)